I’m 32 sitting in bed next to my 9 month old and thanking my lucky stars that I made all the right and wrong decisions in my life. All who knows me well, understands that the path leading to this precious girl was not easy. Losing an unborn child 21 weeks into pregnancy was absolutely devastating. But if I knew then, that I would be granted with this happy, smiley, perfect child…I would go through it 10x again. I prayed when I lost Faith that God would send her back to me in a healthy and stronger body. Not sure if that is what he did, but I could not be more blessed with this child. She is strong, sassy, loving, and kind. I truly cannot wait to see what she accomplishes in life–fingers crossed, great things.

Tonight I was laying in bed with her as she fell asleep to soft country music–yes we co-sleep! Anyways, I found myself shedding tears of happiness just gazing at her in all her innocence and beauty. Of course I am her mom and she will always be beautiful, but tonight was different. I felt a strong presence that pulled me towards the urn by my bed. The one that holds sweet Faith. I opened it up and held the bag of ashes that usually rests peacefully inside. Stared at the ink footprints and thanked God for everything. He knew what he was doing. I will never fully understand and my heart will always love and miss my first unborn child, but I am truly happy and so in love with my daughter. I almost wonder how I will be able to love another this much.

All in all, this post is to express my happiness and content state. I am truly blessed with a supportive, hard working husband, a loving home, and a child who leaves a sparkle in almost everyone’s life. My journey has thrown me a few curve balls, but little did I know, I could catch and manage every single one. Loving life—my life.